Nothing is more important to healing than the act of forgiveness…
There is much misunderstanding surrounding the concept of forgiveness, the primary being that, in forgiving another, you have then condoned their actions. This is so far from the truth and the power of forgiveness. For in forgiving, you are allowing the poisons left within you to be released. Holding onto the hurt and pain from the actions of another only creates within you an illness, a festering of the wound left behind.
Forgiving another is no easy task and must be undertaken with unconditional love for your own wellbeing. For some, professional help may be required but we can all start by asking our guides, angels and whichever entity or being you feel comfortable with calling upon. Christians may feel most comfortable calling upon Mother Mary, others may look to the Eastern Goddess Quan Yin, known as the Goddess of Mercy. Some may just look into themselves and decide that it is time to no longer nurture and grow the weed that has run rampant within themselves.
Forgiving another may prompt lack of support and anger from friends or family who may not be ready to recognize the healthy act you have embarked upon and further strength of resolve will be needed to move forward. The late Leo Buscaglia talked once of a woman who’s daughter had been brutally raped and murdered and of how, after many years of pain and sorrow, decided to forgive her daughter’s assailant. He talked of why this woman chose to end her bitterness by approaching this assailant and of how this woman was herself attacked by her friends, family and society for doing so. Yet, this woman understood that another life had been taken the day her daughter died….hers. She decided it was time to live once more as the woman she once was and to do so she must forgive, not only the perpetrator but herself.
Not only do we need to forgive others, more importantly we need to forgive ourselves. So many hold onto their guilt and their perceived wrong doings and stifle their forward progress as a soul. We tend to forget that we are neither perfect nor omnipotent. We will make mistakes. Another favoured mentor of mine, Louise L Hay, is known best for her sentiment that tells us that we are all doing the best we can, at any given moment, with where we are in our journey.
To heal we need to release. Whether it is from something we have done or another has done to us. We need to stop reliving the event and put closure to it. Learn from it, move on from it…it is not a matter of forgetting it, it is a matter of moving through it and past it. Guilt and lack of self-forgiveness allows us to feel unworthy and small. When in this state, we are open to losing our self-respect, which then makes us vulnerable to the control of others and also susceptible to many forms of disease (dis-ease.)
If we can start with forgiving ourselves and others of the smaller things, then forgiveness can become a new habit and when required, we will be better equipped to forgive the larger things. Start today to look at your life and see where you may be holding onto what no longer serves you and look to a new and healthier way of living through forgiveness.