I recently experienced two events that shook me to my very core and made me look closely at the issue of trust. Trust has many arms. There is trust in oneself, trust in your relationships; trust in theirs back to you. Trust that the path you have chosen is for your higher good. Trust in your guidance, your guides, your teachers. Trust in Spirit.
Both of these events had surfaced due to misunderstandings, misunderstandings that weren’t brought out into the open to allow them to clear before damage to friendships dug deep. Both instances came about due to fears and insecurities and blossomed into untrue imaginings, ending in a loss of trust.
I was taken off guard by both of these events. Had I done something wrong, even inadvertently? Thankfully, no, I hadn’t. But my trust in myself and my journey was shaken by their so easily losing trust in who I am. After the initial shock to my system, I realized this loss of trust was part of their journey and was not due to an injustice done to them on my part. Relationships are always tested as we grow and change….or not. Sometimes, Spirit has a way of making us partake in lessons that we don’t always understand.
A while back, I partook in a past-life regression and on that journey back in time, I was able to re-experience a life where my fear of success was clarified for me. This fear was the end result of having put my beliefs, family and village out in the open. I had created an environment where souls anxious to learn the ways of spiritual living could come and share and grow. This village and my family was destroyed by those who wished to suppress this way of being. I learned, in that previous life, to nurture the fear of standing out in this world, of being different, of following a path that was not always understood and was feared.
Whether or not this past-life experience was real, or not, doesn’t matter, as it is just as valid as an analogy for the fear of success stemming from standing out from the crowd, of being different. To trust in ones journey, one must trust in their guidance, to follow their path no matter how difficult it may be.
I have put myself “out there” and it has made me vulnerable and has tested my trust in Spirit, in my journey and in myself. It is surfacing some hard lessons and uncomfortable experiences. For an instant, I must admit, the desire to run, run fast and far, from this new life was strong. Then I looked into my soul and saw that it was fear trying to get the upper hand again. Fear has no power over me. Trust has doused the flames that tried to lick at my heals once again.