As I sit here to write, I mark a milestone in my life. My first book is complete and ready to print; a book about the first four years of my journey into widowhood. A book about the promise of new beginnings and of finding wholeness. Writing a book such as this has been a cathartic experience, one that has dug deep and helped to heal old wounds and to bring peace to my heart and soul.
Finding the best words to convey a thought, event or emotion required me to re- experience each memory countless times as sentences were initially created, then edited, over and over again. Each edit allowed me to look at my life experiences more clearly, to own them, and to move forward. A therapeutic exercise commonly recommended by therapists and counselors is to write a letter to vent emotions and desires – well, I highly recommend writing a book. It takes this valuable tool to a whole new dimension!
This month also marks the first anniversary of my mother’s passing from this world; a time of reflection and of resurfacing memories. A friend once told me that times such as these reopen the wounds, not only of the loss to be marked, but of all the others whom you have recently lost. I find this to be so true. I find that this anniversary will mark the closure of the last of the “firsts” for the deaths of these past years and it is appropriate that the completion of my book will fall into this anniversary time.
Soon, I will also be bringing closure to my sixtieth year on the earth plane. From a young age, I always knew my sixtieth year would be a year where my life would take on a new direction and it did not disappoint. Life is a dynamic process to be embraced, bumps and all. With the help of Spirit, I intend to keep moving onward and upward with a smile on my face and in my heart.
My eternal thanks go out to my family and friends who have supported me throughout these past few years. Every closure allows for a new beginning. How wonderful that I celebrate my closure and new beginning with the world at large during this auspicious year of 2012!
In my past article, Stretching Yourself… ,I gave you a teaser for the book, here is another…: (Look for a November, 2012 release of Revelations of a Singing Bowl.)
I spent my re-birth year – the year I came into wholeness – connecting with a tarot card that nearly drove me crazy in its accuracy and persistence. A card depicting a soul trapped behind a set of bars, afraid to move; a soul huddled in fear. Those bars looked so much like the decorative ones on my front window which I sat in front of day after day while I worked my way back to “me.”
The Tarot is a tool that I have used for self-development for many years because it has this wonderful way of not letting go of what you need to hear; need to learn. Until you have dealt with the issue at hand, the message will “repeat as necessary;” a prescription meant to address the “dis-ease” within you. With tarot, you are in essence having a conversation with your Higher Self. Yes, you are indeed “talking to yourself” and no, you are not crazy. You are actually doing something very healthy, something by which you can heal what ails you, resolve what has been holding you back from becoming the best that you can be.
I made a decision, at the beginning of my fourth year of widowhood, to make something of my life, beyond myself, but before I could do that, I had to find myself; to clear the past to make way for the future. I had questions, so many questions. Questions about spirituality, ways of thinking and living, big questions and little ones…. I was thirsty for knowledge in order to forge my truths. With my own truths I could then know my direction and off I could go.